Wednesday 19 September 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Prime Minister ruins wedding photos


Theresa May crashes wedding photo

Theresa May has randomly rocked up to ruin some poor couple’s wedding photos.

Simon and Hayley Williams were having some photos taken on The Parade in Cowes when the embattled Prime Minister showed up out of nowhere.

“A car pulled up and a door opened, to which I’m pretty sure I said ‘oh fuck me…is that the Prime Minister?'” confirmed Simon Williams.

“My wife – yes I can call her that now – told me to stop being so silly and then gasped when she clocked that Theresa May was actually walking towards us.”

Hayley Williams said, “I was going ‘no no no no’ under my breath as she staggered toward us because I knew she’d want to be in a photo in a blind effort to look more human.

“She wedged herself in between us. She reeked of weakness and gin.

“She did that thing she thinks is a smile and the photographer asked if she could maybe do something ‘less sharky’, which she demonstrably couldn’t.

“Everyone has that one relative that makes the wedding photos a chore, but at least they are related to you – Theresa wasn’t invited and I certainly didn’t vote for her.

“Thankfully once the photos was taken she got in a car and fucked off again. That was definitely the best bit.

“Everything’s ruined. It’s not going to be about my dress and our day anymore, it’s going to be about the PM gatecrashing our photos and leaving us too shocked to have a go at lobbing her in the sea.”

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