Wednesday 19 September 2018 by Pete Redfern

New Tesco discount store lacking the level of utter chaos required to pose threat to Aldi or Lidl


Tesco launches discount store

Tesco discount store Jack’s is nowhere near chaotic enough to pose a legitimate threat to Aldi or Lidl, it has emerged.

The first Jack’s opened this morning in Chatteris, Cambridgeshire, and has already faced criticism for looking like merely a discount version of a well-known supermarket, rather than the aftermath of a gas explosion in a canned goods warehouse.

Shopper Christopher James, who for some reason best known to himself queued up overnight to grab the best bargains from a permanently discounted store told us, “Well, I’ve got to be honest and say it was a bit of a disappointment, to be fair.

“The shelves had a real semblance of order, and the aisles were arranged in a sensible, logical fashion.

“Even worse than that, I wasn’t required to physically wrestle with any other shoppers to grab the last bottle of nearly-expired Mayonnaise, as the stores’ stock levels seemed to have been perfectly planned.”

It wasn’t just the aisles and stock levels that proved to be a disappointment to shoppers who are experienced in the ways of the discount store.

James went on, “Worst of all, the queues were VERY short. I mean, there was literally one person ahead of me – which unheard of in a discount store. I was served quickly and I didn’t have to spend the usual three-quarters of an hour at the till hoping for a premature death to end my living nightmare.

“It totally lacked the desperate ambience and overall ineptness of a typical discount store, and I for one certainly won’t be going back.”

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