Thursday 13 September 2018

New Apple Watch will mock you when you fall over


Apple Watch  falling over

The Apple Watch Series 4 will offer a sarcasm mode to mock you when you fall over.

A new sensor inside the phone can detect when you fall, and should you confirm you are uninjured; the sarcasm mode will allow Siri to offer a pithy putdown for causing a scene.

Apple CEO Tim Cook explained at yesterday’s launch event, “As Siri becomes more important to your every day lives, we feel it’s important she becomes more like a friend – a friend who will happily take the piss out of you when you fall over.

“Obviously if you’re bleeding to death while lying at the bottom of a ravine, we’re not going to be calling you an idiot, but rest assured, once you confirm an ambulance isn’t needed, Siri will ensure you feel suitably embarrassed.

The new feature is expected to be popular among people who know someone who owns an Apple Watch.

Technology analyst Simon Williams told us, “This could be a real game-changer in the person technology field. As artificial intelligence improves, it’s important that the user is made to feel increasingly foolish.

“Not only does this new feature deliver this, but adding Siri Shortcuts will allow you to string functions together so after a fall your watch can message all of your contacts a short sound clip of the fall along with a message explaining what a clumsy idiot you are.

“The shame will grow exponentially from there.

“I would expect by Apple Watch 6 it will be taking photos of you picking your nose and sending them to everyone you’ve ever connected to on Tinder.  It’s the future.”

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