Thursday 13 September 2018

Nation united in belief that people who shout at the children of MPs are massive twats


Man unhappy at people pestering Jacob Rees-Mogg's kids

The nation is finally united behind the common belief that the sort of person that shouts at the children of an MP, regardless of that MP’s political beliefs, is clearly a massive bellend.

After Jacob Rees-Mogg was accosted by a class activist who then directed questions and comments at his children who were stood by his side, everyone has concluded the activist is a dick.

Voter Simon Williams told us, “If you want to follow Jacob Rees-Mogg on his walk to work, using increasingly creative ways to call him a soulless ghost of a Victorian workhouse owner, or the anachronistic forebear of the British Handmade’s Tale, then you have complete my blessing – but if you point a single word of invective, just one, at his children, then you instantly become a massive, irredeemable twat.

“The kids are off limits, any fucking imbecile knows that – how damaged do you have to be to think shouting at someone’s children will advance your political argument?

“Has anyone, in the history of society, ever been persuaded to support a cause, of any kind, after seeing someone shout abuse in the direction of a child? The poor kid has got enough to contend with being raised by Walter the Softy in a double-breasted suit – leave them alone.”

Rees-Mogg himself laughed off the incident, making himself almost likeable in the process. However Williams still believes he, too, is a prick.

He went on, “The activist didn’t get the reaction he wanted, though to be fair, he has achieved something previously considered impossible. He’s made Jacob Rees-Mogg an object of public sympathy.

“Way to go you fucking arsehole.”

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