Wednesday 5 September 2018 by Tom Moore

Woman at festival who declared ‘music is the only drug I need’ in bed by 9.30pm


Woman asleep at festival

A 31-year-old woman who spent the day telling friends ‘music is my drug of choice’ was discovered asleep in her tent at 9.30pm, it has been revealed.

The woman, a high street department store designer from Streatham, South London had spent the day casting judgment on other festival-goers, according to friends.

As one told us, “She kept saying things like ‘darling, why do you do this to yourself’ and ‘what is wrong with your face, you look so silly’ whilst swigging relentlessly from a smuggled-in bottle of warm tequila and orange juice”.

Friends report that she began to get more and more boisterous throughout the day culminating in a failed attempt at a snog with an 18-year-old barman around 8.15pm.

They went on, “She was a great laugh and really up for up for it until that point.

“After her rejection, it all went downhill and she started to get a bit slurry and aggressive. She then than ran off screaming ‘I just love to dance so much, who needs drugs’ before getting ejected by security for trying to climb on stage.

She was last seen in the medical tent crying to the first aider while having a bandage applied to her knee, according to sources.

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