Monday 27 August 2018 by Pete Redfern

I coloured the Stars and Stripes in Russia’s colours because I’m colourblind, insists Donald Trump


Donald Trump colours in russian flag

Donald Trump has been criticised for colouring in an American flag to resemble what it would look like if the country was under Russian rule.

Trump accidentally revealed his master Putin’s intentions during a visit to a children’s hospital in Ohio yesterday.

“It’s so sad to see a helpless individual suffer from such obvious mental difficulties,” said one patient at the hospital, five-year-old Jack Williams.

“But at the end of the day we have to remember that he is the President and anything we could do to make him feel good was worth it.

“We thought it would be nice for him to colour in the US flag as it would be the easiest thing in the world for him, but what he drew was, well, a bit odd.

“He’s obviously not well, it’s such a shame.”

However, White House officials have insisted that the President is colourblind and that this makes the Russian flag look a lot like the Stars and Stripes.

“We were going to break out this excuse during the inevitable impeachment hearings – but now is as good a time as any, I guess,” they concluded.

However, an anonymous insider at the Kremlin has revealed that the design was one that he had seen before.

“On one occasion I saw Putin getting out of the sauna and naturally he was completely naked, so I caught a glimpse of a tattoo on his backside,” he told us.

“It looked like a flag, but one you would see if America was under Russian control – and it was exactly the same as the one President Trump drew.

“What we are trying to establish is how Trump knew what Putin’s backside looks like.”

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