Friday 17 August 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Schrodinger’s Burkha represses women while also empowering them to be a volatile security risk


schrondingers burkha

The burkha represses women but also increases the likelihood of them posing a risk to security, somehow, according to reports this morning.

Allegedly intelligent people have argued that the burkha is intended to keep women downtrodden, to keep them quiet and passive, to keep them from misbehaving in the presence of their male masters.

The same people are also arguing that the same burkha that keeps women passively ‘in line’ also increases the odds that someone wearing one will commit a crime.

“It’s a sign they are being repressed, which means we should definitely be afraid of them,” confirmed allegedly intelligent person, Simon Williams.

“If I know one thing about bank robbers – and I don’t by the way – it’s that they are typically mousey and shy after decades of Muslim male oppression.

“We must ban the burkha to allow these women to think for themselves, to allow them to feel brave and courageous, to allow them the kind of independent, out-of-the-box thinking typical of someone who would come up with an ingenious plan…to…rob…rob a bank…

“…wait a minute…”

Meanwhile, others have suggested the only way to fight against women being told what to wear, is to fight against what women are allowed to wear.

Man Chester Matthews told us, “I find it disgusting that in some cultures a man can tell a woman what they have to wear. It’s abhorrent.

“They should come and live here, in an open society like ours, where men are currently are currently obsessed with telling women what they aren’t allowed to wear.

“It’s very different. Shut up, yes it is.”

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