Thursday 16 August 2018 by Davywavy

Woman who takes an hour to get ready to go out can be selfie-ready in an eighth of a second


woman getting selfie ready

A woman whose preparations to go out can take the best part of an afternoon can also be selfie-ready in under a second, according to reports.

Simone Williams, who can easily spend forty minutes deciding on eyeliner alone, is capable of striking and pose and pulling the perfect face in less time than it takes for the human eye to register movement.

“She’s remarkable,” said boyfriend Simon.

“The other day she spent over an hour in the bathroom, used three towels, left a pile of frocks on the floor while deciding on the best one to wear, and that was before all the time she needed with a selection of brushes, tubes and pots of I don’t know what to put on various parts of her face.

“And all that was just for a trip out for breakfast at the local cafe where the ‘special’ is literally just two of everything.

“But if someone so much as engages a camera phone within forty yards of her then she’s absolutely perfected herself in the time it takes for a photon to travel from her face to the lens.

“It’s clearly some kind of incredible feminine magic. I just wish she’d be more willing to use it when we’re going to the cinema or out to dinner.”

When asked, Simone said that being selfie-ready was pure instinct, but if Simon wanted her to be quicker about being ready for stuff he could set an example by spending less time in the toilet when they’re round at her mums.

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