Friday 10 August 2018 by Alex Webster

Man finally feels comfortable telling girlfriend about his Warhammer army


Man reveals warhammer addiction

A wargamer has finally ‘come out’ to his partner after years of living in the closet about his collection.

Wargamer Simon Williams and his long-term partner Jill Potter have asked the media for privacy following the discovery of Mr Williams’ ‘vice’.

Ms Potter made this statement earlier, speaking on the understanding they would be left alone to deal with the matter privately.  She said, “I’d suspected for months that Simon was up to something behind my back.

“Nights out with ‘friends’, the huge unexplained expenses on his bank statement, coming home smelling of an undercoat primer which I don’t use.

“And there was this room in his flat which he refused to let anybody go in. I imagined it being a sort of ‘trophy room’ of his previous victims, or some sort of depraved sex dungeon where he liked to exercise his debauched imagination.

“So I’m sure you can imagine my disappointment when it turned out to contain nothing but a load of miniature orcs and goblins.

“It was a shock, to be honest. When we first met, Simon told me his hobbies were tuneful farting and Netflix. As such, I thought he was just a normal bloke, how liked doing blokey things.

“But, unlike most men, he was secretly enjoying a rich and rewarding hobby when I thought he was actually pissing away all that money at Wetherspoons.

“At least I know now why he got so cross when I took all those plastic toys I found to the charity shop.”

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