Friday 3 August 2018 by Pete Redfern

We tried to give you our tax but no-one was in to sign for it, insist Amazon


Amazon delivery, taxes

Amazon has claimed that they were unable to give the UK treasury their full payment of tax as no-one was at home to receive it, according to reports.

The company paid just £1.7m in tax despite profits of £80m, leading questions to be asked about when the rest might be delivered.

Amazon spokesperson Simon Williams told us, “There is no doubt that we owe significantly more than the relative pittance we have paid, but the problem was that the parcel containing the cash was too big to fit through the treasury letterbox, and when no-one came to the door within 8 seconds of knocking, we were left with no choice but to take it away again.

“And we couldn’t chuck it over the fence as Downing Street is a terrace. We couldn’t leave it with a neighbour because they hadn’t set their preferences to say we could.”

He went on, “As a token gesture, we shoved a handful of notes through the letterbox – it was around a tenner, twenty quid maybe – and we will obviously attempt re-delivery of the outstanding amount at some unspecified time in the future.

“Probably within the next decade or so.”

He added, “If the treasury had opted to sign up for our Prime service then this wouldn’t have been an issue. Just a suggestion.”

It is believed that no-one answered the door at Number 11 Downing Street as they were all too busy arguing over who might be willing to take responsibility for negotiating and paying the Brexit divorce bill.

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