Wednesday 1 August 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Tommy Robinson release gives racist first erection in years


Tommy Robinson released on bail

Tommy Robinson has been released on bail, giving at least one hardcore racist his first proper stiffy in years.

The former EDL leader was released after it was decided by the appeal court that the judge who had jailed him for his second incident of contempt of court had made technical flaws, the daft bastard.

“But he’s out now, and so is my cock,” declared racist, Simon Williams, proudly hanging a St. George’s flag from the end of his fully erect, though still not all that impressive, penis.

“Look at that. First erection in nine years. Right there. Brilliant, isn’t it.

“I’m not gay or anything, but as soon as I saw the news that Tommy was free, I punched the air and before I knew it there was a massive patriotic bulge in my trousers.

“Maybe I’m just gay for Tommy…is that a thing? He does have a nice jawline…

“NO! No, I’m not like that. Jesus. I’d rather be a Muzzie than a poof – actually would I? I’ve never really thought about which area of my bizarre, seething hatred I dislike the most.

“Can you imagine a gay Muzzie? Oh, now I have a new group to hate even more!”

Simon’s wife sighed, “Yeah, I’ll be honest, it has been quite a while since there was any action down there.

“In most marriages, erectile dysfunction for that amount of time might be an issue, but not for me, because I’ve been banging our left-wing postman for the last 18 months.”

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