Tuesday 31 July 2018 by Alex Webster

UK surprises MPs by continuing to function in their absence


MP summer recess

The UK is somehow managing to cope without a Parliament while MPs are on holiday.

When Parliament officially closed for summer recess last Friday, the emergency services and economists alike were prepared for the worst.

Government spokesperson Simon Williams told reporters, “MPs deserve a much longer break than ordinary people because although they get paid much more and get far better benefits, they have to work really hard to keep the country running.

“Actually, it’s the civil services that do that, but someone has to be responsible for making the tough decisions.

“Actually, it’s their corporate sponsors that do that. But I’m sure that someone, somewhere down the line has had to really put some graft in, presumably.”

A caretaker at the now vacant House of Commons commented, “I saw the news this morning about the trains being late, Brexit grinding to am acrimonious halt, problems in the NHS and a stagnant economy. Then I realised I was looking at the news for this day last year.

“The only real difference the summer recess has made is that I’m now allowed to use the good plates in the cafeteria.”

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