Tuesday 31 July 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Donald Trump announces latest load of mad old bollocks


Donald Trump, mad old bollocks

Donald Trump, President of the United States and world-class sex-pest, has taken to Twitter to announce another load of mad old bollocks.

The announcement will be followed up with a press conference later today in which he will expand on the announced load of mad old bollocks, whilst insulting a major world ally.

“This is exactly the sort of mad old bollocks that will make America great again,” said leading Republican toady Jeff Sessions.

Trump supporters broadly welcomed the announcement.

“Hot-damn, yeah! Trump! Alright!” said bicycle seat sniffer and Trump supporter Simon Williams as he squatted in his own filth while eating some mud.

“What you goddamn do-gooder liberals got to do is get behind our president and support this load of mad old bollocks.

“Shit, yeah! U-S-A, U-S-A!”

Mr Williams then noisily soiled himself and began chasing a fly.

However, the Washington Post has a different perspective, claiming that this latest load of mad old bollocks could be the mad old bollocks that sees the beginning of the end of the Trump Presidency.

“We believe that this load of mad old bollocks is such a mad load of old bollocks that the American people will no longer tolerate this President,” said this morning’s editorial, which appeared to be a reprint of last Thursday’s.

It is expected that the President will follow up this announcement of a load of mad old bollocks with a denial that he announced this load of mad old bollocks and an announcement of a completely contradictory load of mad old bollocks at some point tomorrow.

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