Monday 30 July 2018 by Neil Tollfree

We can eat sovereignty on toast and tinned freedom, claim Brexiters


Brexit food shortages

Leading anti-EU campaigners have hit back at what they see as scare-mongering over post-Brexit food shortages by promising sovereignty on toast and tinned freedom for everyone.

Brexiters have been angry about claims of food shortages from experts whose only qualification is an in-depth knowledge of how the food supply chain works and the things the prime minister has said publicly.

“The great British people will be proud and happy to enjoy a diet of sovereignty on toast and tinned freedom,” said whatever deranged posh bloke was wheeled out to do the Sunday morning politics shows.

“Boiled will-of-the-people is all that this great country needs, finished off with a big, tasty slice of control.

“Yes, butter may cost £42 per pound and cheese be rationed to one small Jacobs cracker’s worth per person per month, but when you are picnicking in the shadows of our newly strengthened borders, warmed by the heat of the sunny uplands, it will be a small price to pay.”

It is understood that Asda is planning to stock jars of sovereignty that can be spread on toast and Sainsburys are planning something similar but in slightly smaller jars for 50p more.

Farmers are being urged to fill empty fields with crops of freedom to be ready for the 2019 harvest.

The deranged posh bloke went on to explain how he will be doing his bit to ensure that there is sovereignty on toast and tinned freedom for all.

“Yes, well I’m incredibly rich, so I’ll simply import all the delicious wine, cheese and meat I require.

“Bon Appetit!…or whatever that is in English.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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