Tuesday 24 July 2018 by Neil Tollfree

David Cameron enjoys sandwich like he didn’t completely f**king ruin the country for years to come


David Cameron happy

David Cameron, ex-Prime Minister and twice winner of the annual Human Being Who Most Resembles Some Ham award, was seen yesterday enjoying a nice sandwich, as if he wasn’t the man with ultimate responsibility for the complete f**king ruination of Great Britain for years to come.

Mr Cameron enjoyed the sandwich, understood to contain cheese and some salad, at a cafe in London’s fashionable Kensington district.

At no point did he seek to apologise to fellow patrons for his actions two years ago that led directly to the country’s current perilous state.

“Well, I couldn’t believe it,” said fellow patron Simon Williams, who was in the cafe at the same time enjoying a panini, the contents of which remain unclear.

“He was just sat there, bold as brass eating a cheese sandwich like he hadn’t been entirely responsible for the catastrophic decision to hold a referendum based entirely on self-interest and an attempt to solidify his power base.

“You’d at least have thought he’d have to common decency to prostrate himself in front of everyone and beg forgiveness for what he’s done to us, or to perhaps lock himself in the toilet, crying with the overwhelming guilt of it all.

“But no, he didn’t do any of that though, he just ate his sandwich and left.

“The cunt.”

It is thought that following his lunch of a guilt-free sandwich, Mr Cameron popped into a local newsagent to buy a newspaper like he wasn’t the absolute worst Prime Minister in living memory.

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