Tuesday 24 July 2018 by Arabin Patson

Brexiters vow to boycott Amazon as soon as they can work out what it is


Brexiters to boycott Amazon

Amazon’s decision to warn of civil unrest in the case of a hard Brexit, has led many ardent Leavers furiously calling for strong action as soon they decide if it is a parcel service or one of those telly channels people watch on their phone.

At a UKIP party meeting held in Lutterworth Wetherspoon’s, local party chairman Simon Williams was keen to state that he and like-minded fellows were going to inflict a dire financial blow to one of the world’s richest companies.

“If foreign busybodies think they can meddle with the very specific Brexit that I expect with warnings of likely consequences then they’ll pay a heavy price, I can tell you.

“We’ve sent a letter to the companies registered office and as soon as they reply we will cripple Amazon for going against the will of the people.”

However, the ensuing meeting revealed some acrimonious divisions within the ranks about the true nature of Amazon.

Factions quickly sprung up around the rival notions that the company was a mail-order book club, a delivery service that wasn’t as good as when they had proper posties who knew your name, or a pay-per-view television channel.

The television group was adamant that they could effectively destroy Amazon by writing complaints about women wearing headscarves and ‘rubbing it in our faces’ to OFCOM.

However, the book club theory prevailed when Mr Williams remembered “that biography of Nigel Mansell that Jenny sent me for my birthday.

“Left it out in the rain, they did. Bet they were Romanians.”

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