Tuesday 24 July 2018

Anything more than ‘adequate amounts of food’ is just being greedy, insists Brexiter


Adequate food supplies Dominic Raab

After Brexit minister Dominic Raab explained that the government is making plans to ensure there is an adequate amount of food in case of a no-deal Brexit, Brexiters have asked why anyone would want more than that.

Despite criticism for taking such a position, Brexit supporters have leapt to his defence, explaining that Raab is merely talking ‘common sense’.

Brexit voter Simon Williams told us, “Adequate is, by its very definition, ‘enough’ – so why would anyone want more than enough food?

“Surely we’ll be better off as a nation ensuring that every last morsel of food is hungrily devoured by our citizens, instead of the weekly ritual in which you throw out that bag of EU salad from the fridge.

“Yes, Remoaners will say that a plan to ensure ‘adequate food supply’ makes us sound like a third world nation, rather than the 6th richest country on the planet, but I would say anything more than that makes us sound gluttonous.

“Gluttony is one of the deadliest sins, I saw that in a Brad Pitt movie so it must be true.

Those in favour of staying in the EU have insisted the latest statement is just a further confirmation that the land of milk and honey promised by the Leave campaign is nothing more than a pipe dream force fed to simpletons, who are now unable to admit to the disaster it has become.

Dave Matthews told us, “I swear to God, if this nation descends into a Mad Max style dystopia after Brexit, there will be Leave voters defending Brexit saying we needed to cut down on our petrol use anyway.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt!

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