Monday 23 July 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Theresa May still Prime Minister


Theresa May still prime minister

Theresa May is still Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, despite everything.

The embattled Diet Thatcher has faced resignations, ridicule from both the press and general public and is pressing ahead with a Brexit plan that makes the poll tax look like a cracking idea.

“Yep she’s definitely still in there,” confirmed Theresa’s secretary, Simon Williams, glancing into the PM’s office.

“Almost everybody who has swung by is surprised to see her there, they keep expecting to see Jacob Rees-Mogg.

“I keep offering her boxes to help clear her desk but she seems determined to hang on until we all just decide to brick her in and move on.”

The Prime Minister commented, “I have the full support of my party – or at least the ones who have not either resigned or submitted letters of no confidence.

“And it’s the support of those five members that will see me through. That and this little jar of heroin I keep in the desk,” concluded the Prime Minister, wrapping a rubber band tightly around her arm.

“Please excuse me. I have ministerial business to attend to here.”

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