Monday 23 July 2018 by Lucas Wilde

President Trump dives head first into another willy-waving contest


Trump waving willy at Iran

President Trump is shaking his cock at Iran this time.

The most important dickhead of the United States got all cross after the most important dickhead of Iran suggested it would give America “the mother of all wars”, which is a politer way of saying “massive willy-waving contest”.

“He’s gonna get every inch of me, folks. Both of them. Right in his face, I promise you that,” said President Trump.

“Nobody waves a willy quite like me. Ask anybody, they’ll tell you.

“As long as a foreign dictator is talking shit about the United States I am going to wave my willy at them – or perhaps offer to suck on theirs, in the case of either Kim Jong-Un or Vladimir Putin. It depends on my mood, it really does.

“Not Iran though, no sir. Unless it makes me look good, in which case yes we can talk.”

Iranian government spokesperson, Simon Williams, said, “Iran will not take this willy-waving lying down.

“We shall wave our willies with great force. It shall be a willy-waving the likes of which America has never seen.

“Then we’ll nuke you. Right in the willy.”

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