Friday 20 July 2018 by Pete Redfern

Rainfall now a distant memory


Rain a distant memory

Rainfall has become a part of British folklore now, according to reports.

With some counties having received no rainfall since May, many Britons have found themselves absorbed in precipitation-based nostalgia, with others bemoaning the lack of water falling on their heads.

“Ah, rainfall, yes, I think I remember that,” mused Simon Williams, a grandfather from Berkshire.

“It was drops of water falling from the sky, correct? I believe it was popular during the war wasn’t it? I think it was stored in floating reservoirs called crowds. No, clouds, that’s it.

“Or was that something else? Wait, what was hail then?”

His neighbour, grumpy old git Christopher James explained, “Many had hoped that for a nation famous for going on and on about the sodding weather that the lack of it for a few months would force everyone to discuss other matters, but this is obviously not the case.

“If it’s raining, we moan about it. And if it’s not raining, we will moan about it.

“Weather moaning means weather moaning, get over it.”

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