Monday 16 July 2018

Piers Morgan relieved to find lost cufflink deep inside Donald Trump’s colon


Donald Trump interview

Piers Morgan is celebrating this morning after finding a valuable cufflink he had written off as lost while deep inside the colon of Donald Trump during his most recent interview with the American President.

Morgan first noticed the cufflink was missing back in January shortly after interviewing Donald Trump for an ITV special, and despite retracing his steps as far as was possible at the time, it was nowhere to be seen.

However, the cufflink was found on Friday evening, when Morgan was deep inside Donald Trump’s colon filming a new interview for ITV.

An ITV source said, “Piers was all the way up inside Donald when he let out a yelp of delight and shouted down to us that he’d found his cufflink.

“We didn’t even know he was looking for it. We just thought he was getting comfortable before asking Donald why he’s so great all of the time.”

After the broadcast, Donald Trump himself has said that as a businessman, he was considering charging Morgan rent, considering the amount of time he has spent deep inside his colon area during 2018.

A White House source said they were concerned that Morgan might consider claiming squatters rights.

They told us, “We might have to tie a rope to his ankle next time, just to make sure he doesn’t start making himself at home.”

However, the day ended on a high as Morgan also spoke of his delight at finding the cufflink, telling reporters, “It’s always the last place you’d think to look, isn’t it.”

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