Friday 13 July 2018

Donald Trump asks Queen why she built her castle underneath Heathrow’s flight path


Trump and Windsor Castle

Donald Trump has again demonstrated his masterful understanding of the history of other nations, by asking the Queen why she built her house under so many noisy planes.

With Windsor Castle located just a couple of miles from the end of the runway at Heathrow, it is often subject to significant aircraft noise, making it a surprising choice of location for a castle, according to Trump.

Speaking to the Queen, Trump said, “When I’m in the White House, no planes overhead. None. That’s just good sense.

“And I would never build a home this close to an airport, never. I have a very good nose for things like this your majesty, and let me tell you, you’ve made a big mistake here. Huge mistake.

“Prime real estate is never this close to an airport, this is for cheap condos and migrant workers. Whoever sold you this plot of land to build your castle ripped you off.

“It might be too late, but I know some people if you want me to arrange for them to ‘have a word’? We’ll call it a favour from one ruler to another.”

White House officials have defended the President’s grasp of history, insisting that he knows everything that has ever happened in the history of the world, and if something he said is contradicted by one of your ‘books’, then the books must be wrong.

Press Secretary Sarah Sanders told reporters, “The idea that Windsor Castle was originally built in 1076 is fake news, and everyone knows the world was nothing more than a desolate wasteland until 1776.”

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