Friday 13 July 2018 by Stanley Mizaru

After watching British TV Donald Trump instructs US officials to open diplomatic relations with Love Island


Donald Trump Love Island

Despite saying Theresa May’s Brexit plans make a trade deal with the US difficult, after briefly catching ITV2 last night, President Donald Trump has said he wants to open diplomatic relations and make a trade deal with Love Island as soon as possible.

Trump, who saw the inexplicably popular ITV programme for the first time last night after returning to the ambassador’s residence after dinner at Blenheim Palace, has voiced his support for the ‘fledgeling nation’.

“I saw this documentary last night about this small island that’s doing so great, and it was great, I mean really great,” he said.

“It was called Love Island. I loved it, truly loved it. I was astounded to find out that previous administrations had not opened a US embassy there. I mean that’s bad, truly bad.

“The US needs to have connections with these great, enterprising young people. They are young and attractive. I mean, wow! Are they attractive! They are so attractive I’ll probably have to appoint my daughter Ivanka as ambassador, because, y’know, she is attractive too. Very attractive. She’d fit right in.”

He added that the people of the UK could learn something from the inhabitants of Love Island.

“These people have left the UK to establish an independent island,” he said.

“They have done so spectacularly well. I would love to trade with them – especially the one with the blonde hair. Boy, I’d trade with her anytime.”

A White House official told reporters that Mr Trump is already demanding a state visit to the island.

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