Friday 6 July 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Salisbury ice-cream van beginning to regret selling new Novichok and salted caramel flavour


Ice cream van

An ice-cream van in Salisbury is beginning to think that his new Novichok and salted caramel flavour could prove to be more trouble than it’s worth.

The discovery of a second couple suffering from exposure to the nerve agent has given Simon Williams, the owner of the van, pause for thought.

“Well, I thought that Novichok and salted caramel ice-cream would be something a bit different,” said Mr Williams.

“However, now we’ve got this new couple suffering for exposure to the nerve agent and the Skripals a few months ago, I’m starting to think that it might be best to take it off sale for a bit.”

Mr Williams confirmed that both couples had visited his van.

“Well, yes. I mean, when I saw that new couple, I remembered them popping up for a Novichok and salted caramel ice-cream on Friday or Saturday.

“Then, when I saw they were suffering from exposure to the nerve-agent then, blimey, was my face red, I can tell you.

“I mean, there’s everyone going on about the Russians and everything and ‘touching containers’, and whatnot and all they did was have an ice-cream.

“I did warn them it was quite an unusual flavour.”

It is thought that Mr Williams is considering replacing the Novichok and salted caramel flavour with a Smallpox and Raspberry ripple flavour, and putting up a small sign warning that you may get a slightly gyppy tummy after eating it.

Russia has responded by tweeting, “See. We told you it wasn’t us.”

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