Wednesday 4 July 2018

We all know you’ll do nothing about us cheating, confirm supremely relaxed Vote Leave campaigners


Nigel Farage and Arron Banks electoral commission

Leading figures in the Vote Leave campaign have reacted to the news that they cheated during the referendum campaign with a collective shrug of the shoulders.

As the Electoral Commission found that the official Brexit campaign was guilty of four charges of breaking electoral law, those involved in the campaign have told everyone, “So what?”

As calls began to declare the referendum result ‘null and void’, many Remain voters have insisted this makes them right and Brexiters ‘wrong’.

Remain voter Simon Williams told us, “It’s now clear that they cheated their way to victory. And as we can see throughout the history of human civilisation, cheats never prosper. Which is why they won’t be allowed to get away with it in this case, either.”

However, Vote Leave donor Arron Banks told us, “Look, if people cared about the truth we would never have won the referendum in the first place.

“Do you honestly think the people who voted for us are now suddenly going to change their mind just because they know we broke the rules in order to subvert democracy and secure our referendum victory? Really?

“This is like the centre-forward taking a dive to win a penalty that wins you the World Cup. Sure, it’s against the rules, but who is going to give a shit as long as your side wins. We certainly don’t, and neither do the millions of people who voted in our favour.

“On the plus side, it’ll give Remainers something to moan about for the next twenty years.

“Maybe Skinner and Baddiel can write them a song about it?”

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