Tuesday 3 July 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Man suffering from stress and anxiety makes full recovery after just chilling out a bit


Man recovered from anxiety but just chilling out a bit

A man who has been suffering from stress and anxiety has made a full recovery after just chilling out and relaxing.

The man realised that it was all just in his mind and he just needed to stop worrying so much.

“Yeah, I’ve just been plagued by this racing heartbeat, shortness of breath, mood-swings, and insomnia for some months now,” said Simon Williams, a daddy longlegs wrangler from Essex.

“Then someone mentioned that I need to chill out a bit, relax, and focus on something else.

“Well, I must say, it was fantastic advice. I only wish someone had said it to me before – it seems so obvious with hindsight.

“I simply chilled out and relaxed, it was as easy as that.”

Mr Williams had a bit of a lie-down, watched Casualty, played some Nintendo, and fed some ducks in the park.

“Everything is much better now,” he confirmed.

Jeremy Shithead is a loudmouth from down the pub who has decided he’s an expert on stress, anxiety and other mental health issues.

“Yeah, Si did the right thing, people need to just chill out a bit and stop worrying about it,” he confirmed.

“There’s no point in stressing. I mean, look at me,” he said as he finished his third pint of the morning.

“I just get on with it and don’t worry, everyone should take a leaf out of my book.”

It is expected that the Government will soon replace all funding for stress and anxiety with a web-page saying ‘Just chill out a bit,’ and that should make everything better.

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