Tuesday 3 July 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Disney’s next love story to begin with unsolicited dick-pic


Disney film based on unsolicited dick pic

Walt Disney Studios have announced that their next animated movie will involve a modern twist.

The Princess and the Pervert will begin with the lowly pervert, Roland the Pervert, sending an unsolicited photograph of his penis to the gentle and beautiful Princess Tabitha.

“The whole film will be based around him wondering why that didn’t work,” confirmed studio executive, Simon Williams.

“Will Roland the Pervert learn the error of his ways, do some genuine soul searching and apologise to the princess for sending her an unrequested photo of his junk?

“Or will he go the other way and call her a ‘f*cking miserable dyke’ before blocking her and sending the same photo to somebody else to begin the cycle again?

“I’ll be honest, it’ll probably be the first one. I can’t see that other storyline getting past a test screening – although having seen Daddy’s Home 2 I’ve learned that in the movie business, absolutely anything is possible.

Casting directors have already begun searching for stars to take part in the new Disney project, with some household names already associated with the lead roles

Williams went on, “We’re hoping to get Tom Hanks to do the voice of Roland the Pervert. It’s going to be a massive struggle to make that character likeable but who doesn’t love Tom Hanks?”

Tom Hanks’ agent, Jay Cooper, said, “Tom not only said no, but ‘Fucking Jesus No!’, which is the first time I or anybody else has ever heard Tom Hanks do a swear in real life.”

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