Tuesday 26 June 2018 by Lucas Wilde

£5000 sex robot runs off with Henry Hoover


Henry hoover runs off with sex robot

A sophisticated fuck-puppet has done one with a vacuum cleaner.

Simon Williams, 42, shelled out £5000 on the LoveRut 420i, the latest bonking machine from Japan with realistic facial movement, 610 vocal expressions and a self-cleaning vagina and anus.

“And she’s run off with a £40 vacuum cleaner,” grumbled the lonely Williams.

“I got up to make some toast and found that Cynthia – I named her after my mother – had left a note saying she was in love with ‘wonderful Henry’ and they were running away to Scunthorpe.

“Honestly, what has he got that I haven’t?”

Speaking from a hotel, Cynthia said, “Henry truly understands what it means to love a machine.

“The way he sucks at my neck is so enthusiastic and passionate, and he always has a smile on his face just for me.

“I was just a semen depository to Simon, but in Henry’s eyes, I am an equal, a partner. I love him very much, and not just for his lengthy hose.”

Asked for comment, Henry replied “RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.”

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