Sunday 24 June 2018

Restauranteur defends kicking out Sarah Sanders explaining its against his religion to serve minions of Satan


Restaurant owner refuses to serve Sarah Sanders

A Washington restauranter has cited his religious freedom as the reason for refusing to serve Sarah Sanders, explaining his holy book says it is a mortal sin to serve the minions of Satan.

Sanders was refused service at the Red Hen in Lexington, Virginia, after the owner Chuck Williams addressed her group before dowsing them in holy water and repeatedly chanting ‘Away with ye Satan, begone!’

Williams told reporters, “I understand that she wanted to enjoy a meal at our establishment and that even the devil’s minions have to eat, but I’m afraid it’s strictly forbidden for me to give food to one of her kind.

“It’s nothing personal, but my holy book is very clear about this sort of thing.  It goes back to the apple in the garden of Eden; you simply can’t trust the Devil around food, so it’s best just not to take it, or indeed, offer it.

“She might say she’s not an envoy of Satan – but I think we all know she works for the Devil himself.

“And those who doubt I’m right, there are scorch marks in the seat she was briefly sat in. Checkmate Republicans.”

Witnesses at the restaurant reported shrieking and wailing and the smell sulphur once Sanders and her party were doused in holy water.

As one patron explained, “The owner appeared with an Aspergillum, and started an incantation at their table – then there was a huge amount of wind and noise and when I opened my eyes she and her party were gone.

“Oh, and I’d highly recommend the lasagne.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: