Friday 22 June 2018 by Arabin Patson

EU citizens very relaxed about handing over their passports to the people responsible for Windrush


EU citizens happy to give government their documents

As the government announced the registration process for EU citizens in the UK, many long-term residents have expressed delight that they would have to send over vital documents, such as birth certificates and passports, to the famously efficient Home Office.

Petra Lehrer, a retired teacher married to a British citizen, said she would not hesitate to send her most essential paperwork to the Home Office.

She explained, “After all, it’s not like they routinely lose things. And if they did, I’m sure there is a free phone line where a qualified person who has the power to rectify the situation will deal with me promptly.

“As such, I will gladly give them my passport, marriage certificate and the original birth certificates of my children. Did you know that in Germany we admire the British Home Office so much we make kind jokes about them out of respect?”

Dr Giovanni Burlone, a cardiologist in London, also claimed he would have no qualms trusting his fate to the highly professional British immigration services.

He told us, “I’m sure they will treat my application fairly and with consideration to my circumstances.

“After all, it’s not like they are so virulently racist and so obsessed with meaningless targets they deported British citizens because they were black.

“If Brexit taught us anything, it’s just how welcoming the British are to outsiders, even those who keep them alive.”

The Home Office was not available for immediate comment, as their press office has no phone number, but Downing Street assured journalists a detailed plan would soon be available online at their dedicated website: www.gohomedirtyforeigner.gov.uk

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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