Monday 18 June 2018 by Arabin Patson

TREASON! UK doomed after man reveals to EU that the nation is not united over Brexit


Man angry at Remoaners

The lynchpin of the government’s Brexit strategy was shattered yesterday after a British man drunkenly revealed that not everyone in the UK fully agreed with the way Brexit was being negotiated.

It is believed that the nation was betrayed on Friday evening in Barcelona. The Foreign Office has confirmed that a British tourist identified as Simon Williams, a dentist from Exeter, drunkenly mocked the government’s constant inner turmoil within earshot of EU officials.

By the morning, professional Frenchman and Eurocrat Michel Barnier had confirmed that he was aware the nation was not completely united behind Theresa May and gloated that the information was “a game changer”.

He went on, “We had doubts, but we could never be certain.

“Each time we asked English people about Brexit they stood up and defiantly sang God Save the Queen. But now our fear of the mighty British Lion has gone.

“It came in the nick of time, I can tell you. We were about to give the UK everything it wanted. Full market access, free trade without freedom of movement, a veto of all ECJ decisions and a refund of past EU contributions.

“But now we know there is disunity we can offer a deal that actually benefits us. They were so close but their love of alcohol let them down in the end. Merci Monsieur Williams. You might have betrayed a noble people, but you have saved Europe.”

In London, the revelation prompted furious recrimination with both Boris Johnson and David Davis threatening to resign unless Theresa May immediately paid attention to them.

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