Friday 15 June 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Perverts everywhere thank Sir Christopher Chope for blocking upskirt bill


Pervert please upskirt photos not illegal yet

Brave Sir Christopher Chope has saved the day for upskirters everywhere.

A new law was to be passed in parliament which would make the process of taking a photo up a woman’s skirt without her knowledge a criminal offence – which was a surprise to pretty much everyone, as we all actually thought that was a crime already.

However, Sir Christopher shouted “object”, which led to the blocking of the bill and almost everyone in the Commons to yell “what the FUCK, Christopher?!” at the same time.

Sir Christopher went on to explain that you can’t go around making things like this illegal ‘willy-nilly’, as it could lead to the imprisonment of people who have merely taken a photo up someone’s skirt accidentally.

“Good for him, I say,” said pervert, Simon Williams, taking a moment out of his busy day of brushing up against various women on public transport.

Popping his cock back in his trousers, Williams continued, “It’s not harming anyone to take a photo up a skirt – I mean apart from the women, but they’re not really people, the filthy bits of meat.

“I think Sir Christopher should be very proud of himself for blocking a bill that would have cut my weekend plans in half.

“I’m going to celebrate with a brand new selfie stick, although it’s not for photos of me or of a face, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN HEH HEH HEHHHHHHHH*cough*EHHHHHHH.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a bus full of unsuspecting totty to catch.”

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