Tuesday 12 June 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Robinson’s Gammon Barley Water ‘not selling that well’


Gammon Barley water

Sales of Tommy Robinson’s brand of meat-flavoured squash have been “disappointing”.

Hoping to cash in on the recent waves of support from ill-informed and frightened men, Robinson’s marketing team decided to launch their own drink.

“It tastes revolting, but we’re selling to idiots, so we thought we’d be fine,” remarked Robinson’s agent, Simon Williams.

“It essentially tastes like the liquid that runs off when you cook some gammon, which is quite pleasant to lick from one’s fingers but evidently is just nasty to drink by the glass.”

“We might have to simply remarket the bottles as things that our fans can hurl at the police during a peaceful march.”

Tommy Robinson supporter, Jimmy Gittings, said, “I love my gammon barley water, no matter what the liberal elite may say about it.

“Sometimes it makes me sick in my mouth, but that’s the price we pay for drinking the drink of freedom.

“It still tastes better than Carling Black Label. Besides, the Muslims can’t ever drink it, so it’s one in the eye for them!”

Muslim, Imran Shah, said, “Honestly, we’re not too upset about not being able to drink meat-flavoured squash.”

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