Friday 8 June 2018

Dithering for two years before making a terrible decision sounds just like us, SAS tells Nadine Dorries


SAS Nadine Dorries

A spokesperson for the Special Air Service has spoken out to defend Nadine Dorries, insisting that wasting time you don’t have on a decision you can’t make before leaping in the wrong direction, sounds exactly like them.

After Dorries reminded everyone that David Davis was in the territorial army version of the SAS, those within the regiment have said that Davis has clearly taken his training forward into his political career.

The spokesperson told us, “Everyone thinks of the SAS as being about jumping out of helicopters and smashing through windows and taking down terrorists in overwhelming displays of military excellence – bu it’s so much more than that.

“You don’t know how long we have to train to ensure that we dither over our decisions for painfully long periods of time.  Every fibre of your being wants to make a quick decision and get on with it, but no, you must sit, wait, and let the available time run out before you make a decision.

“Then, of course, the enemy will be expecting you to make the right decision – they will have planned for that.

“So the way to catch them out is by making a terrible decision, something potentially catastrophic because there is simply no way they will see that coming.

“They know you have all the facts at your disposal, so why would we make such a bad decision? For the element of surprise, that’s why.

“It might be fifty years since Davis left our service, but we’re all incredibly proud to see he’s kept his training at the forefront of his mind.

“We’ll all definitely be better off for it.”

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