Thursday 7 June 2018

Nadine Dorries claims David Davis can throw a kettle over a pub


David Davis threw kettle over a pub

Conservative MP Nadine Dorries has told reporters that David Davis is the perfect man to negotiate the nation’s exit from the EU because she once saw him throw a kettle over a pub.

Dorries was defending Davis on Twitter, as rumours began to unfold that he might resign from his position today. However, she was at pains to explain that he can handle whatever comes his way thanks to his kettle throwing exploits.

She told her Twitter followers, “It was one of those big metal ones as well, over-arm, like a grenade – I think it was his SAS training. You don’t mess with a man who can throw a kettle over a pub.

“I would say to Michel Barnier and his ludicrous Brexit demands, what have you ever done, eh?”

Brexit supporters have leapt to the defence of the Mid Bedfordshire MP and insisted that she might well be on to something when it comes to the negotiations on Brexit.

Staunch Brexit supporter Simon Williams told us, “Why don’t we just tell the EU that they have to give us a free trade agreement on our terms if he can throw anything they want over a pub.

“If he can do it, we win and get the deal we want. This is the real negotiation.”

Michel Barnier reacted with surprise at the kettle claims, and was ready to dismiss the suggested method of reaching a trade deal, saying “That is just ridiculous, you win if he can throw something over a pub?

“It’s not the most laughable thing I’ve heard from your side in the last two year, but it’s close. So, interests of entertainment, I’ll name this leather sofa.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt here!

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