Wednesday 6 June 2018 by Chris Ballard

Saladin, first Sultan of Egypt, to be renamed Sandwichin


Saladin changes name to sandwichin

Historians are to change the name of Saladin, founder of the Ayyubid dynasty, to the more accessible Sandwichin.

The move comes as part of an attempt to make history more appealing to millennials who might not have grown up with the twelfth-century figure who led the Muslim military campaign against the Crusader states in the Levant.

Historian Simon Williams explained, “We’re constantly reviewing the past in order to make it as relevant as possible. Our research shows that young people just don’t know about the iconic zingy military leader.

“With the youth of today it’s all about bread – they bloody love the stuff. That’s why we’re making a real effort to bake it into history.

“Our other suggestions for name changes include Attila the Bun, Genghis Naan and Alexander the, er, Crumpet.”

There has been a lot of opposition to the proposals with people pointing out that young people are much better educated about nutrition and are in fact more likely to eat salads than bread-based snacks.

“Oh, please don’t misunderstand me – we’ve got nothing against salads,” said Mr Williams.

“In fact, we’re also thinking of renaming the first Roman general to cross the English Channel to Julius Caesar Salad.”

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