Tuesday 5 June 2018 by Chris Ballard

‘Would you like an ice cream?’ asks parent who really fancies an ice cream


Ice cream shop

A parent has pretended they were giving their child a treat when in fact they just wanted some ice cream themselves, according to reports this morning.

All good parents know that sugar is bad for their kids; it rots teeth, contributes to childhood obesity and can lead to more serious conditions such as diabetes.

However, if the weather’s nice, then fuck all that because Dad wants a nice big scoop of mint choc-chip and children are the perfect excuse.

“I must admit I was thrown a little off balance when my son Josh said he didn’t really want an ice cream,” said Simon Williams, 37.

“But I just told him ‘sure you do’ and bought him a double scoop of cookie dough and strawberry cheesecake, as you do.

“And of course he loved it. I didn’t let him eat it all though – I’m not a terrible parent. I simply told him when he’d had enough and then finished off the remaining scoop and a half for him – after I’d polished off my own, obviously.”

Through mouthfuls of delicious sugary creaminess Simon told his crying son, “Sorry, but too much is very bad for you.”

Health experts say that these sorts of treats are fine as long as they’re only occasional and the portions are moderate.

“Just buy one ice cream and share it with him?” asked a bemused Simon. “FUCK OFF!!”

After his ice cream, Simon went to the supermarket because Josh had strangely run out of Coco Pops much more quickly than anticipated.

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