Tuesday 5 June 2018

Heathrow’s third runway to be ready just as visitors stop coming to Brexit Britain


Heathrow ready soon

The government has approved a third runway at Heathrow, just as the country is becoming a less attractive place to live and visit.

After considering all options over a ten-year period, the government has decided to approve the multi-billion pound project just as Brexit uncertainty hits another new high.

Transport secretary Chris Grayling said, “This is definitely the right time to invest in a third runway, because huge uncertainty over the role this city will play in the region in the next ten to twenty years is precisely what will make it a success.

“Everyone knows that uncertainty is what makes businesses prosper. Just look at the success I’ve made of the new train timetable, and that call comes from people’s uncertainty over whether their train will appear or not.

“Imagine the success we’ll make of Heathrow when people don’t know if our nation will be European pariahs by the point it opens.”

Whitehall officials have sought to back the move, by explaining that London will always be a huge hub for international travellers, whether Brexit happens or not.

As one explained, “If London loses some banks to Europe, and some manufacturing to Europe, and some other businesses to Europe, that doesn’t mean people won’t still want to fly to Europe via Heathrow.

“What better way to break up a business trip to see your new European base of operations than by flying into Heathrow so you can pay quick shopping visit to Poundland’s new flagship store, on the site of the old Harrods.”

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