Monday 4 June 2018 by Chris Ballard

Shopper who insisted on using correct change causes three-day queue


Supermarket queue as woman uses correct change

A number of supermarket customers were reported missing by their loved ones after a tedious person counted out the exact change to pay for their groceries.

Simon Williams has just been reunited with his girlfriend following a three-day queue at his local Sainsbury’s. After being wrapped in a blanket and given a mug of hot tea, Simon related his ordeal.

“I only went in for some milk,” he said. “As usual all the self-service tills were out of order so there was a bit of queue at the checkout. Still, it seemed to be moving okay. And then it happened…

“The next lady to pay produced a wedge of vouchers and receipts from her purse. All her reward points had to be calculated at great length and the resulting tiny amount of money was deducted from her bill.

“Then she paid the balance in change – fucking change! And not proper coins like pounds and fifty pence pieces but all those other little ones that nobody uses anymore.”

In the time it took for the money to be counted out two women in the queue gave birth, a young lady in a sleeveless top became embarrassed about her armpit hair and a teenager buying beer dispensed with his fake ID after receiving a real one.

“Nearly half a week we had to wait. I initially thought it must be a wind up for some hidden camera show but then I remembered that Jeremy Beadle is dead and Ant is in rehab,” said Simon.

“I suppose I could have just left but…well, I’d started queuing hadn’t I?”

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