Tuesday 29 May 2018 by Davywavy

Roseanne Barr appointed White House press officer


Roseanne Barr White House

After a vitriolic racist tirade resulted in her sitcom being cancelled, Roseanne has landed on her feet with a plum job at the White House.

Describing a black former member of the Obama administration as the child of a chimpanzee might once have limited career options, but the Trump administration is understood to have reached out ‘within minutes’ of the post – describing Barr as the perfect fit for press and diplomatic responsibilities.

The Presidential press corps is understood to have beaten an attractive offer for Barr to become an anchor on Fox News.

”We needed someone who can tone down the Presidents opinions into something acceptable, and Roseanne struck us as mild-tempered and agreeable compared to him,” we were told.

“And anyone who remembers her singing the national anthem in the 90s will know she loves and respects America at least as much as the President.”

When asked, Roseanne said she believed in nothing more than helping hard-working Americans keep their jobs – which is why she just got about two hundred of them fired as a result of her selfish and ill-mannered tirade.

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