Thursday 24 May 2018 by Davywavy

Maths teacher who said ‘you won’t always have a calculator on you’ in the 1980s feeling really stupid now


Calculator on iPhone

A maths teacher who spent the 80s and 90s telling pupils they wouldn’t always have a calculator with them is feeling pretty stupid now.

Simon Williams, who would insist that his classes learned mathematical functions without ‘all that tippy tapping on buttons’, has spent the last decade realising the futility of this exercise, and the vast amounts of everyone’s time he wasted.

Williams, who was known for ridiculing students who couldn’t multiply fractions by using that special, unfunny sort of sarcasm they learn at teacher training college, now realises that he was the real fool, not them.

“Obviously I bitterly regret making year after year of dejected teenagers learn to work out square roots with a pen and paper,” he said over a half-empty glass of cheap whisky. “I see now what a massive waste of time it was.

“Especially as I would tell them it was because there would come a day when they didn’t own a portable, handheld device that has a calculator function, and which they cannot be separated from for five minutes without suffering withdrawal symptoms.”

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