Thursday 24 May 2018

Company that cares deeply about your privacy keen to keep using your details to sell you stuff


Personal data GDPR

A company that claims to value your private details above all else, is keen to keep using those private details about you to try and sell you stuff, it has emerged this morning.

ACME Products has written to you on a number of occasions over the last couple of weeks to express how sincerely it cares about your privacy and to reiterate that it is extremely keen to ensure your privacy is intact while it tries to sell you the various items of tat available in its online store.

A recent email read, “We here at ACME Products could not take your privacy more seriously, which is why we’ve waited until 24 hours before the biggest piece of privacy legislation in a generation comes into effect in order to write to you and tell you as much.

“Yes, we’ve known about this for the best part of two years, but we felt that today was the right day to express how seriously we take your privacy and how important it is that your privacy is kept intact.

“That said, we also have a shop full of items we would like you to buy, and the best way of selling those items is using the personal data we hold about you to craft sales messages that are more likely to make you convert into a paying customer.

“So we think the best compromise here is that we continue to take your privacy extremely seriously, to the level we’re legally required to, while you give us blanket permission to use your private data to try and sell you more stuff.

“Deal? Yes?

“Err…Hello?”

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