Monday 21 May 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Homeless of Windsor released back into the wild


Homeless in windsor

The homeless of Windsor have been let out of their cages.

After having been round up and locked away so as not to spoil the photos for the Royal wedding, Windsor’s vagrants were allowed to be seen in public once it had been established that all of the tourists and television cameras had gone home.

“Ah, my old doorway,” beamed Simon Williams, who was seen fit to serve in Her Majesty’s Armed Forces but wasn’t deemed good enough to be seen near Her Majesty’s Grandson’s wedding.

“It was nice to have a change of scenery and be sat in a dog cage for a couple of days, but there’s no place like home- well…not home…haha! You know what I mean. What am I like?!

“I would like to apologise that my existence caused such a bru-ha-ha. Although it was the most attention the authorities have paid to me in ten years, so I guess that was nice.

“Could you spare any ch- oh you need it to buy Union Jack tat from the shop. No that’s fine, have a good one.”

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