Monday 14 May 2018 by Pete Redfern

Toddler saving deepest philosophical questions for bedtime


Toddler asking questions

A child will be asking some deep and puzzling questions at bedtime instead of asking them during the day like a normal person, according to reports this morning.

Four-year-old Christopher, son of Simon and Julie Williams, revealed his plans to an anonymous friend at a soft play area this morning, setting out in detail his approach to the evening.

“Oh, he’s going to have a right laugh,” confirmed the friend.

“Obviously he will delay actually getting into bed for as long as possible by having a poo in the bath.

“Then when he gets into bed he’ll be asking number of questions, like ‘Why are they called roadworks if the road doesn’t work’, ‘how do bumblebees fly’, ‘do ants feel pain’, ‘why does daddy say naughty words when you leave the room’ and then close with the classic one about where babies come from.

“We all know the answer to that by the way, it’s the age of the Internet after all, but it is a lot of fun to watch them squirm.

“That should delay his sleep til about nine o’clock, which is probably near the time his mummy and daddy go to bed anyway, depending on how much of their special pop they’ve drunk.”

There are also reports that should the barrage of questions fail to drag out bedtime to an acceptable time, Christopher will resort to asking for a drink of water until he needs to go for a wee and then repeat the process as he considers necessary.

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