Monday 14 May 2018 by Neil Tollfree

Nazis of the UK media decide to grant freedom following Eurovision stage invasion


Nazi papers Eurovision invader

Following the dramatic stage invasion during the UK Eurovision performance, the Nazis of the UK media have collectively decided to grant freedom.

Immediately following the moment a prick in a spangly hat stormed the Eurovision stage and shouted ‘Nazis of the UK media, we demand freedom,’ the heads of Sky, the BBC, ITV and several newspapers held a brief skype conference before issuing a statement saying that they, as Nazis of the UK media, would immediately grant the requested freedom.

“It’s a fair enough request really,” said Director-General of the BBC Tony Hall.

“As one of the leading Nazis of the UK media, I have withheld freedom for far too long, as have my compatriots across the UK media landscape.

“But now, a prick in a spangly hat has called us out from a stage in Lisbon and there’s no option left for us other than to grant the freedom he so eloquently demanded.

“Honestly, those of is in the Nazi media are all quite surprised you let us withhold freedom for this amount of time.

“We had a good run, but it’s over now, I guess. You simply don’t come back from being called out by a stage invader during the live Eurovision broadcast.”

It is understood that freedom will be given away in some newspapers tomorrow, or there will be an option for individuals to collect their freedom in person from any nearby Nazis of the UK media, if that’s more convenient.

Either way, its the only sensible response to such a serious and well-argued demand.

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