Saturday 12 May 2018 by Arabin Patson

Uppity foreign darkie wrong to call us racists, claim British bigots


Angry British bigot

Populist activists have taken to social media and the tabloid press to express fury at the UN’s race relations envoy, Tendayi Achiume, for not knowing her place and claiming post-Brexit Britain was a hotbed of racial prejudice.

Red-faced harrumpher and UKIP MEP, Simon Williams, told reporters that he was not going to accept being called racist by “some angry picaninny”.

“How dare she come here from Timbuktu or something and claim that our endless litanies about having our country stolen by invaders has resulted in prejudicial treatment against immigrants?

“As for Windrush, only some ethnic with an agenda would see racism in the fact that the only group of settled migrants to be targeted for deportation were black.

“This is just more PC nonsense from the professional grievance industry. They see race in everything. I bet that Achoomy woman only got her job because of quotas. The report should have been done by someone qualified like a retired bus driver with a twitter account, such as me.”

Ms Achiume, a UCLA law lecturer, said she was not surprised that people such as Simon Williams were offended by her findings.

She explained, “It’s tragic but predictable. Every society has cretins whose ignorance drives them to hateful beliefs but whose childish need for peer validation makes them unable to accept criticism.

“What is odd is that, in most countries, these idiots are consigned to bar stools. But for some reason the UK has decided to let them initiate drastic constitutional change that they don’t even begin to understand.

“Just how much do you people drink?”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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