Friday 11 May 2018 by Davywavy

Eurovision, Britain warned


Eurovision

British social media users are warned to expect an ‘overwhelming tsunami of shite’ in their feeds as the annual festival of pretending to like awful pop rolls around again.

Eurovision, which like herpes can be fun to get once but then reoccurs every year and you just don’t seem to be able to get rid of it, is likely to last all day Friday and Saturday.

Most people will be affected by Eurovision appearing in their timelines at least occasionally, and authorities appear powerless to prevent it.

“I was sort-of thinking that I could log into Facebook and chat about normal things that people talk about,” said Eurovision-victim Simon Williams, who asked not to be named.

“But then – boom! – Eurovision. It just crept up on us, I suppose. I didn’t take the warnings seriously or take any precautions and before you know it, it was on us again and everyone I know was pretending to love Latvian disco-funk and thinking that an Italian serenading his hamster at 120bpm is in any way likeable.

“I just find myself asking ‘Why me?’ Did I do something to deserve this? Could I have prepared for this eventuality better than I did, maybe by putting a bag over my head and waiting for it all to go away as usual?

“I just hope the authorities come to their senses and clamp down on this before next year.”

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