Wednesday 9 May 2018 by Pete Redfern

He pulled out of me and lived to regret it, Stormy Daniels reassures Iran


Donald Trump

Donald Trump pulling out of the Iran nuclear deal is not the first time he’s hastily withdrawn without having a clue what he’s doing, Stormy Daniels has told Iran.

The adult film star, who many hope will be instrumental in bringing down Donald Trump, has reassured Iran and other coalition member countries including the US allies of Britain, France and Germany that Trump will likely come to regret his withdrawal decision.

“Oh yeah, I know how it feels for him to pull out suddenly and leave you feeling empty and sad,” Daniels told reporters today.

“I think he’ll regret it, much like he probably wishes he hadn’t tried to cover up his many betrayals with porn stars and Playboy models.

“It’s almost like he thinks pulling out is consequence-free, and leaves both parties as if you never.. err.. ‘entered’ in the first place. I would argue that Melania might beg to differ.

“I would also imagine the Iranian President is not happy with Trump, but on the plus side, I think Iran can expect a hefty bit of cash to find its way into his bank account from Trump’s lawyer to try and cover up the whole mess he’s created.

“Just make sure you keep a receipt so that Micheal Cohen can’t deny it later, that’s all I would add by way of advice.”

Donald Trump is reportedly delighted at having undone yet another of Barack Obama’s achievements, presumably in the pitiful hope that by erasing Obama’s legacy, his own might look better by comparison.

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