Wednesday 9 May 2018 by Gary Stanton

Give it a few weeks until the dickhead has gone, Iran told


Trump to be gone soon

Don’t power up those centrifuges just yet because the fucking prick will probably be gone in a few weeks, world leaders have told Iran.

Diplomats who are keen to avoid another messy Middle East war stressed that it is only a matter of time before President Trump is ousted by a prostitute, the Russian collusion scandal or a scandal involving Russian prostitutes.

The pleas follow Trump’s decision to tear up the Iran nuclear deal, because it was ‘an embarrassment’, whereas using thousands of dollars of campaign funds to pay off a hooker and then lying about it totally isn’t.

Meanwhile, the Iranians have insisted their nuclear program is entirely for peaceful purposes and that if they had a deadly atom bomb they definitely wouldn’t launch it straight at Tel Aviv.

Trump said, “The decision to hand Iran a windfall of 100 billion dollars is irresponsible folks, especially when so many people are struggling to get on the property ladder.

“Here’s what I think of the deal.”

The President then held up a copy of the deal to the gathered press and drew a great big cock on it with bits of jizz coming out of the end.

Trump went on to describe the deal as “decaying and rotten” and announced his intention to withdraw at once.

Nuclear expert, Simon Williams, said, “This deal is our best hope of delaying the forthcoming Armageddon at least until the group stages of World Cup are over. Even a fucking dolt like Boris Johnson realises that.

“This isn’t the first time Trump has pulled out of something decaying and rotten.

“And, yes, I am suggesting he fucks roadkill.”

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