Thursday 3 May 2018 by Dan Sweryt

Man decides it’s easier to be climate change denier than waste his life washing out food containers


Man decides to be climate change denier

A man has decided it’s easier to become a climate change denier than spend 90% of his free time scrubbing out the remnants of an M&S Broccoli Cheese or Waitrose Cannelloni in order to recycle them.

Climate change denier and, by extension, now Donald Trump supporter Simon Williams, explained, “I cooked a lovely ready meal for my family which was utterly and completely delicious, as it should be given I wasn’t involved in doing anything with the ingredients.

“However, what was then staring back at me were three or four plastic or foil trays with a burnt line pretty much tattooed into the rim of the container.

“Now, we all know these trays are recyclable. But for them not to just get dumped into landfill because of a single rogue molecule of foodstuff lying on it, we have to put the effort in to effectively sterilise it completely.

“Yes, I understand recycling is SUPPOSED to be inconvenient! That’s kind of the point.

“However, the time it takes for me to scrub out the bit of mash that’s burnt to the plastic tray is utterly absurd. Repeating that for the three or four things you’ve had in your meal and you could’ve binge-watched The Walking Dead! And not just the latest season – I mean all of it!

“Since I’ve started believing that climate change is a liberal conspiracy I’ve actually been able to keep up with the days’ events. No wonder these liberal leftie snowflakes aren’t aware of what’s REALLY going on – they’re all standing at the sink sloshing out milk bottles!

“Open your eyes, sheeple!”

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